If you’re new to Facebook, or want the best advice on how to parent Facebook users this guide is well worth a look.

But if you’re not a regular user, you’re probably wondering what the attraction is…?  Many of my friends not on Facebook  struggle to understand the “pull” and why teens need to be constantly checking their Facebook page.  After checking in with the teenagers I know, here are their top 5 reasons. 

1  Personalise 

Remember how you used to plaster your bedroom door with the bands you liked, the celebrities you loved?  Well in 2010, teens now have a digital bedroom wall that can be personalised with photos, videos, songs, and books to name a few.  For teens this is about crafting their identity, defining their individuality and expressing themselves.  Nowadays having a Facebook account to personalise is almost a rite of passage.

 2  Socialise 

Facebook is a place for teens to hang out, to socialise.  Everyone they know is there. And remember, teen life is all about friends, parties and relationships so staying connected on Facebook keeps them up to date with all of this. 

 Facebook also makes it possible to socialise with a much wider network of friends. Some friends they may only have a loose connection to, but Facebook allows them to remain in contact via visiting their Facebook page. 

3  Communicate

Teens don’t email.  They send messages via Facebook.  Instead of calling or emailing, they communicate via Facebook, because they know everyone checks their Facebook page. Parties and events for larger groups are also coordinated entirely via Facebook, so it’s used for both one on one and mass communication.

 4  Connect 

Facebook allows teens to connect more regularly with family members or friends they don’t see on a day to day basis.  It brings them closer as they can share what they are up to, post interesting links/photos and generally hang out.

 5  Share 

Sharing photos is one of the most popular areas for teens to use within Facebook.  Of course this has got many a teen into a little bit of hot water as they learn what is appropriate to share, but photos are a way to help personalise the page and show everyone the fun you are having! 

Roll all of the above together and you get a cool, FUN application.  Teens can play games, join groups, personalise their profile with different applications, or do quizzes to compare likes/dislikes.  When all your friends are doing this, it’s a great place to hang out. Everyone likes to be up to date with the latest information, so being constantly connected is very important.

 Facebook Fatigue 

Recently in the media there has been some talk of Facebook fatigue.  Whilst Facebook is still the number one social network with teens, in the last six months its grip has started to loosen.  Girls are “tired of trying to keep up with all the activity” required of leading a demanding digital social life whilst boys seem to have migrated to other sites, possibly gaming or more “interest” driven.  Of course, having parents connected to the same social network does take away some of the cool factor.  Other factors linked to Facebook burnout include it having too many ads, too many notifications and privacy issues (which is another post entirely!) 

The bottom line is teens today lead a very connected, social life.   The hub is digital and it’s not about to change.  Its time to get in there and join them !

Image credit: Franco Bouly Flickr

Welcome to the first Weekly News from around the Web.   Find interesting  news, opinions and research about loads of fascinating subjects related to parenting in this digital age.  Click on the links to read the full article.  Hopefully  this will help you stay two steps in front of  your kids so  know the issues you’ll need to have a handle on as they grow and evolve.  Enjoy. 

•  Teenagers and technology: I’d rather give up my kidney than my phone -  A rather drammatic title that certainly got my interest!   Great article about how teens are using mobile phones and social networking sites.   Aside from the statistics – 75% of teens use a mobile phone, 73% use social networking sites – the best insights come from the interviews with real teens giving you a picture of how digital communication shapes their lives.   It concludes by saying technology has simply added another layer to teen communication. “The telephone, the car, the television – they all, in their time, changed the way teens relate to each other, and to other people, quite radically.   And how did their parents respond?   With the same kind of wailing and gnashing of teeth we’re doing now.   These technologies change lives, absolutely.   But it’s a generational thing.”   This article is part of a series from The Guardian – there is more great insight into teen lives here. 
• Facebook announces it has reached 500 million users - Putting that into context if Facebook were a country, it would be the third largest behind China (1.3 billion people) and India (1.1 billion).  To celebrate, Facebook are inviting users to submit Facebook Stories describing the impact Facebook connections have had on their life.   Amazing to think this has all been achieved in 6 short years.  (Note to self: I must set up my Digital Parent Facebook page and stop procrastinating !) 
• For Those Facebook Left Behind -  If you’ve been under a rock and missed the whole social networking thing this New York Times article about 5  social networking sites might get you or your grandparents up to speed on why it’s such a phenomena.  It gives an overview on Facebook,  LinkedIn,  Twitter,  Foursquare and  Yelped.  Great why you’d bother / why you’d not bother insights.  
• Cyberbullying and Jessi Slaughter  - Confronting and scary overview of an 11 year old Florida girl  Jessi Slaughter (screen name) involved in cyberbullying .  Local teens had posted online rumors about her and she responded with an online video posted to You Tube full of profanity and vulgar comments.   Things got worse, her Dad got on the webcam and provided  demanded the harrasers stop.  The situation heightened so much police were called in and she is now supposedly in a safe house.   See her interview with Good Morning America here.   Bottom line, she has a webcam in her bedroom and her parents have no idea what she does on the internet.   A real life teachable lesson to discuss with your kids. 
• PBS Frontline Growing Up Online series - A great set of resources available to parents that is updated frequently.  If you want to understand more about daily life in the age of nonstop connection this is the place.  A full library of interviews with teens, parents and experts.  Spend 15 minutes there, choose something that is of value to you and then re-visit another time.

I hope you found something of interest that will help you stay informed about how technology is evolving and the impact this has on bringing up our kids.

Wendy

You’ve all hear the news reports and some of the statistics about social networking.   It’s usage is exploding. Some of you probably use Facebook to keep in touch with family / friends.   That’s great.  It’s important to not bury your head in the sand about social media because it represents a fundamental shift in how we are now communicating – and therefore how our children will communicate and operate in the world.

The You Tube video above puts it in great perspective.   A couple of points are staggering:

• Facebook tops Google for traffic
• If Facebook were a country it would be the third largest behind China and India with 500 million users
• 80% of companies now use social media for recruitment
• Gen Y and Z now consider Email passé
• And Social Media has now overtaken porn as the number one activity on the web

Quite obviously the social web is not going away.   Are you going to surf the wave?

Are social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter intertwined in your daily life and if so what value do they bring?

Life as a parent is filled with lots of after school activities. Lots of sport. But I’d really love to get my kids involved in some sort of “Tech Club” where they can learn the cool kinds of things that get them excited. Animation. Illustration. How to make movies. I haven’t been able to find anything in our area, so I’ve turned to the net to see what they can get involved in.   

 The Tate Movie Project is the first of its kind – an animated film made by and for children (specifically in the UK but I’m not going to let that bother us!)   “Children will create every aspect of the film, from the hand-drawn characters and plot twists, costumes and comic sound effects.   The website is a virtual film studio that forms the hub of the Tate Movie Project online community.   Children can upload their pictures and ideas as well as voting on those already on the site.   They can have a go at animation and be kept up to speed with progress on the movie by the animated characters who represent the professional Heads of Department in a film.   A professional team will then animate the children’s drawings using “2D Flash” in a 3D “After Effects” world”

It looks interesting.   If you’ve got kids that are burning up time on the computer playing games, perhaps they could unleash their creativity on The Tate Movie Project !

Time is short for me at the moment but I couldn’t resist the urge to post this fabulous song by Peter Denahy called “Sort of Dunno Nothin”. Have a listen. It will put a smile on your face. I’m not quite in the teenage years at the moment, but if this is anything to go by it’s looking pretty scary !! Enjoy !

June is Internet Safety month in the US so I thought I’d point you in the direction of a FREE internet safety tool – Norton Online Family by Symantec.  Symantec offer a range of well known internet security products and perhaps to promote their social responsibility they offer Norton Online Family for free. 

Who doesn’t love free!  We all want our kids to be safe, whilst having the freedom to explore the internet, and now there is no excuse! 

The set up is really simple, you simply have to register for a free account and create profiles for each child that includes their name and year of birth.  Based on the age profile Norton assumes a base level for certain sites to block, but you can easily customise their profile and set time limits too.  The software focuses on web monitoring and blocking, social network monitoring, chat monitoring and search monitoring.  It’s fast, easy digital parenting wtih custom alerts that keep you in the loop. 

I like the fact that Norton encourage you to sit down with your child and go through each of the settings, the software is not designed to secretly spy, but to involve kids in the discussion about internet safety. No software will teach your kids how to be a good digital citizen.  That comes back to parenting, and encouraging the behaviour you expect to see from them online. 

So what are you waiting for?  If you do not have any safety controls on your family computer, act now.  Dowload Norton Online Family for FREE.  I’m the biggest procrastinator, but every now and again I have a flurry of activity.  It feels good!  You will feel warm with the knowledge that your kids are a little safer online!

I’m determined to not give in to the claim “everyone else has one”. I need to be sure he is responsible enough, he can follow the family rules set regarding usage, but most importantly that he is not going to lose it. So it’s more about his maturity level and less about his specific age.

 I’m sure he will want the latest smart phone with all the bells and whistles to impress his friends, but I’m a big believer in crawling before you walk.  Having a phone and not losing it is a big ask for any tween / teen boy who can’t remember where they placed something from the night before! 

A recent New York Times article says “parents generally say they buy their child a phone for safety reasons, because they want to reach the child anytime….But for children it is all about social life and wanting to impress peers.” Having a phone for safety reasons is certainly high on my list as I give him more independence to go out and about.

The Pew Research Centre has also published some eye opening usage stats.  Their research shows that teens are sending enormous quantities of text messages a day. Half of teens send 50 or more text messages a day, or 1,500 texts a month.  Older teen girls ages 14-17 lead the charge on text messaging, averaging 100 messages a day, whilst the youngest teen boys are the most resistant to texting – averaging 20 messages per day. 

So I go into this with my eyes wide open.  Text messaging has become the primary way that teens reach their friends, surpassing face-to-face contact, email, instant messaging and voice calling

 I do feel that my son is responsible and mature enough.  He won’t be the first in his group to get a phone but he probably won’t be the last either. 

Here are 6 things to consider when setting your child up on a mobile phone

• Depending on the age of your child you need to make a choice between getting a prepaid/pay as you go plan, including the phone as part of the family mobile plan, or setting them up on their own individual contract. 
• For your child’s first phone, it may be wise to choose one without a camera and without internet access. Make these features a stepping stone they can have in a few years time once they have proven they are responsible enough. 
• If you do choose a smart phone, set restrictions on internet usage, texting and calls to save yourself any surprises.
• Investigate your phone plan and ask questions about parental controls. With some phone plans you can set filters, usage limits re time of day use, who the child can call or text and block the texting of photos.  
• If you want to maintain an insight into your child’s communication tools such as My Mobile Watchdog can be loaded onto the child’s phone to keep you in the loop.
• Given that cell phones are the number one form of communication for teens there is an opportunity for abuse.  Have the discussion with your child about humiliating texts, photos and videos that can be captured on phones and circulated in an instant. This is a no go zone. They must act responsibly.

Some Family Rules

 As with anything new there needs to be some family rules so that kids know how you expect them to behave. Here are some examples of areas I intend to discuss.

•  Talk about mobile phone social etiquette.  It’s not that polite to be texting at the dinner table, or at restaurants when you are out with friends/family (and certainly not when they are older not when they are driving).
• To ensure your teen does not text late into the night it’s a  good idea is to leave phones in the kitchen at night and not in bedrooms.
• If Mum or Dad call the phone must always be answered or the call returned  as soon as possible.
• Give your child a real insight into the adult world and get them to review each month’s bill. It’s important to establish a link between usage and cost impact.
• On top of that they should know the ins and outs of the plan that includes the number of calls / time / texts / internet access permitted on the plan.  Be clear about who pays if the plan is exceeded.
• The phone must be used responsibly. No sexy texts, photos, no circulating unsavoury information. Ensure there is a real consequence for behaviour that is not acceptable (by, by phone…..)
• Don’t answer calls from people they don’t know. 

I guess there is no “right” magical age for your child to receive their first mobile phone.  It will depend on each child, their maturity and the circumstances in each family. Set some firm ground rules and check in with your child frequently and you’ll be off to a flying start.  For our son, I’ll report in on how he goes with his new mobile phone in the very near future.

Things have been a bit quiet at The Digital Parent in the last 6 months. Joshua, my third beautiful baby arrived Sept 09, and whilst I knew I would be TIRED and TIME STARVED,  being in the trenches of tiredness with little time for much apart from the basics has meant that  The Digital Parent  has not received much attention.

My concentration has been zero!  My ability to carve out time for myself has been zero!   I live in the moment, absorbing every bit of bliss that a new baby has to offer.  Snuggling, feeding, comforting.  Enjoying the wonder of the world as it is discovered with new eyes.

My time management skills have never been great but I MUST, I WILL find time to nurture my other baby – The Digital Parent.  It’s something I really enjoy.

If I can ensure my work skills remain current, and even make the tiniest bit of income for myself from this site it will be a true celebration.

So please feel free to comment, or add your name to the newsletter, it will make my day.  Such little things can be a huge bonus to my motivation.

Till next time,

Wendy x